I approached a point in my life that I have come to discover all persons must go through. Call it a milestone, a road-block, a hurdle, growing pains, or whatever name one wishes to call it, I experienced for the first time this year substantial heartbreak, personal failure, absolute despair, and all the feelings that come along with them.
It was in the midst of my despair, that I turned to Cornelia for advice, help, and counsel. I knew Cornelia to be a woman of great wisdom, a woman who had triumphed over personal tragedy, who had overcome that personal tragedy and used her own story and her own struggle to help others.
Circumstances in my life were such that I had reached a point where life had absolutely beaten me down, chewed me up, and spit me out. For the first time, I did not have the safety net of my dean, or my parents, or anyone else to catch me. In my first year out of undergrad, I learned a very hard lesson. Despite my successes as an athlete and as a student, I had never taken the time, nor had it occurred to me, that I might not be prepared for adulthood.
I went to Cornelia seeking answers, knowing her to be a skilled therapist and motivator. However, what Cornelia provided me was something far more valuable than answers. She provided me with the means to face the questions that must be considered a rite of passage in the transition from youth to adulthood that so many young adults, especially at Yale, as brilliant and talented as they may be, neglect to consider: Who am I, why am I here, what is my purpose, how do I live a life that is fulfilling and in the best service of humanity, why do I struggle with this, why is this situation problematic in my life?
To these questions, Cornelia never gave answers. To these questions, despite how many times I begged and pleaded for answers, Cornelia instead taught me a framework to discover these questions myself. What I learned through my work with Cornelia is a skill that I believe all young adults could and undoubtedly would benefit from: the skills to begin to examine oneself and ones own life, to discover not only who one is, but who one desires to be, to examine their life and their dreams, to question themselves, to truly look in the mirror, beyond appearance, into the soul itself.
No one can teach a person how to be an adult. Unfortunately, life has a way of making us all figure out by trial and error what this whole “adult” phenomenon is all about. However, through my work with Cornelia I no longer fear this progression. I no longer find myself confused about my transition to genuine adulthood. I no longer fear asking the difficult questions about life, myself, and my place in this world. What’s more, I no longer feel the need to ask this question of others.
